Tuesday, September 15, 2009

My first angry comment! I'll treasure it forever!

My day began with an anonymous email calling me a douchebag for expressing discomfort with a 40-minute rape scene in I Spit On Your Grave on this very blog and ended with me getting yelled at by a rude, angry HR person (including rolling of the eyes, finger-snapping, and audible sighing) from a local school district not only for asking what she perceived as a stupid question but also for asking it too slowly! I'd only said two words when she hurried me up with the finger-snapping and eye-rolling. I asked the same question of HR people from two other local school districts and got a polite, friendly, civilized answer, but I digress. I deleted the "douchebag" comment from this blog because anyone who calls me a douchebag anonymously will be deleted. You want to call me a douchebag, leave your name or blog link. If you do that, I'll leave all personal insults up on the site in perpetuity. Call me a pig-fucker or a member of the Republican Party or a fan of the TV program Models, Inc. As long as you sign your name or link to your blog, you have my permission to hurl the abuse, insults, and criticism. Unfortunately, in deleting this anonymous troll's comments from the post, I accidentally deleted the first hate mail in this blog's history. My other two blogs have inspired the occasional "you suck" or "you're an idiot," but this blog was a hate-virgin until its hate-cherry was broken early this morning. I'm sorry. I will stop that metaphor now. Fortunately, I still have the email from Blogger containing the anonymous comment. Without any further delay, here is the first in a hopefully long line of blog comments telling me I'm a stupid idiot:

"shut up douchebag. No one even comments or problay even reads your blog on 'blogger' whoa. stop being smug and get a real job HAHAHA

In unrelated, or possibly related, news, Zombie Lapdance is an always informative and hilarious blog, and I'm not just saying that because he said nice things about this blog or because he also has Zombie in his blog title or because I know where he works and where his girlfriend lives or because I've seen him batter the hell out of a pig head in a bookstore parking lot during a zombie-killing simulation. It's good and fun to read. Read it today, call me a douchebag tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

you suck, douchebag. see you xmas morning.

sincerely, your brother in law.

N. L. J. said...

Yeah, it's hard to be hurt by an insult that is smothered with so much weak-sauce. On the other hand, you obviously ruined that kid's day by pointing out that his favorite rape/torture flick is a piece of shit. His day was bound to be ruined, anyway, when he discovered that there are 2 keys on his keyboard labeled "Shift," and that he has no idea what they do.

Dr. Mystery said...

Anonymous: I'll see you over a cold beer on a hot xmas morning, sucker.

N.L.J.: Weak-sauce may be my new favorite word.

Anonymous said...

I want to be mad the guy, but shit, he laughs at his own joke. I quote, "HAHAHA"

That is delightful.

Azzageddi said...

Thanks for the shout-out on Zombie Lapdance--I was wondering why we suddenly got a big uptick on people registering for the Revolution SF forums.