Disconnected (Gorman Bechard, 1984)

Disconnected is a deeply eccentric slice of regional underground horror, made in Waterbury, Connecticut, by DIY filmmaker Gorman Bechard and a cast and crew of mostly local talent. It starts out as an offbeat hangout movie, turns into a slasher and a suspense thriller, and finally morphs into a semi-abstract arty depiction of a mental breakdown or torment by a malevolent entity (or both). Not everything is successful and a few scenes have poorly recorded sound, but it's got personality, atmosphere, humor, creepiness, power-pop jams, some striking shot compositions, and lots of local color, and it's probably the only film where someone is murdered to XTC's "Complicated Game."

The film opens with video store clerk and classic Hollywood film buff Alicia (Frances Raines, the great-step-niece of Claude Rains, who gets name-checked, and, yes, that's how they spell their names) arriving at the two-story home where she rents the top floor. A weird old man (William A. Roberts) is trying to get in. Alicia assumes the old man is looking for her twin sister Barbara Ann (also played by Raines) because a lot of men in town are looking for Barbara Ann, and she lets him inside. He does something weird to her telephone and disappears. Say what?

The strangeness of this scene and everyone's behavior in it aside, I really dig how Alicia decorates her top-floor pad (though the credit belongs to director Bechard, who was actually living there at the time). There are classic Hollywood posters everywhere (her top faves are Marilyn, Bogart, and Hitchcock), an antique clock, a hi-fi stereo (Talking Heads' Speaking in Tongues at the front of the record pile), and all kinds of early 20th century kitsch, much of it also connected to movie people (lots of Groucho stuff), and the place gets excellent natural window lighting. I get a sweetly painful melancholic feeling thinking about the various pop-cult-decorated living spaces of friends and acquaintances in my pre-21st-century-tech/phone/social media college-town days, so when a movie really nails the look of one of those spots, it punches me right in the heart.

The movie quickly jumps from this oddball opening sequence to a hopping bar scene. Alicia, her boyfriend Mike (Carl Koch), Barbara Ann, and Barbara Ann's date for the night are catching up over drinks, though Alicia is a bit on edge because she suspects that Mike and Barbara Ann are having an affair. It's frustratingly hard to make out the dialogue in the noisy, crowded bar in this scene (the sound improves in most of the subsequent scenes), but my frustration turned to delight when the camera swept down the length of the bar, capturing little moments from the other patrons including a guy using magic tricks to impress the woman sitting next to him (she seemed to be into it), and when the scene shifted to the dance floor. Our characters and several extras start busting moves as only 1984 Caucasian Connecticut new-wavers can to the new-wavy power-pop jams of local band The Excerpts, playing a live gig in the bar.

Time for a digression about an Excerpts band member. Making his onscreen debut in Disconnected, 19-year-old Excerpts singer/guitarist Jon Brion would go on to incredible success in the years ahead. After the dissolution of his post-Excerpts power-pop band The Bats (not to be confused with the excellent New Zealand band The Bats), Brion moved to Boston, met Aimee Mann (they were a couple for several years), and became touring guitarist for 'Til Tuesday in that band's final years. Brion then moved to Los Angeles, founded short-lived band The Grays with ex-members of Jellyfish, became a go-to session musician and arranger for dozens of disparate artists, produced albums for Aimee Mann, Fiona Apple, Rufus Wainwright, Robyn Hitchcock, Of Montreal, Frank Ocean, Janelle Monáe, Katy Perry, Mac Miller, Sky Ferreira, Best Coast, and pre-insanity Kanye West, had a wildly popular years-long weekly residency at Largo, and enjoyed a parallel career as a film composer. He was Paul Thomas Anderson's go-to composer prior to Jonny Greenwood, co-composing the score to Hard Eight with his ex-girlfriend Mann's husband Michael Penn, playing on Penn's Boogie Nights score and appearing in a small role, composing the scores for Magnolia and Punch-Drunk Love, and contributing a few leftover pieces from these earlier scores to One Battle After Another. His other film composing credits include Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I Heart Huckabees, Synecdoche, New York, Step Brothers, Lady Bird, and Pee-wee As Himself (with Penn). Digression complete.

Dance party concluded, Alicia gets into an argument with Mike in the car, where his denials about sleeping with Barbara Ann don't seem that believable. Alicia heads home, where she hears weird distorted sounds on her phone and a conversation between Mike and Barbara Ann about their affair. Is she imagining this? What is up with her phone? Meanwhile, young women are being raped, murdered, and mutilated all over the city. A fifth victim has been found, exasperating Hawaiian-shirt-wearing, hoagie-eating (or, in Waterbury parlance, grinder-eating) homicide detective Tremaglio (Carmine Capobianco), who can't catch a grinder break. His partner slaps him on the back when he's on the roof of a parking garage, causing him to drop his grinder on the street below. Later, on stakeout and eating a grinder in the car, his partner admonishes him for sitting on his ass and eating too many grinders, reminds him that the murdered women can never eat a grinder again, and tells him to leave his half-eaten grinder in the car despite Tremaglio's complaints that it will get cold. The man just wants to eat a hot grinder in peace while he brainstorms how to catch the killer.

At work the next day in her small, strip-mall video store, Alicia is admonished by a customer named Joey (the hilariously monikered Professor Morono, who plays a character named Joey the Creep in Bechard's subsequent feature Psychos in Love), who demands to know the names of the newest porn rentals and whether they're any good. When Alicia says she doesn't watch porn, Joey is flabbergasted, yells "fuck this shit!," and hits the road.

Just as flabbergasted by Joey's behavior is the only other man in the store, Franklin (Mark Walker). Franklin is a polite, soft-spoken, friendly, but deeply strange young man who has a crush on Alicia after seeing her in the bar. He complains about the lack of foreign and classic films in the store to Alicia's agreement, remarks on how many new movies they have, and says he doesn't own a VHS or Betamax machine but that he would rent movies here if he had one. He then asks her out. Alicia says she'd like to but has a boyfriend. Franklin takes this rejection well, offers to bring her lunch and a soda, and leaves his number in case she changes her mind. He then exits with his signature farewell catchphrase, repeated multiple times throughout the movie and filling me with joy and delight each time. When Franklin bids you adieu, he says, in his particular soft-spoken style, "okay, see ya bye" with the "see ya" and the "bye" pronounced so closely to each other that they sound like a single word ("seeyabye"). This never stops being funny, and I want to say it to everyone when I exit the premises.

Alicia eventually makes up her mind that Mike and her sister have been getting their bone on, so she calls Franklin to take him up on his offer of a date. Franklin is happy to hear from her, but is soft-spoken seeyabye Franklin also our killer? Oh shiiiit! Is this seeyabye forever for Alicia?

Events proceed in this direction until everything is cleanly but semi-tragically wrapped up by the film's halfway point. WTF? Or is it? Much of the rest of the film takes place in Alicia's top-floor pad, where she drinks her sorrows away in her underwear and is constantly tormented by her phone. Her mental state fractures and the film's style becomes claustrophobic and abstract, leading to a truly strange and baffling ending that I'll be chewing on for a while. The sound design becomes very important here, with the ringing of the phone, the ticking of the clock, and the bizarro demonic noises coming from the receiver amplified on the soundtrack. This is a wild swerve in direction from Bechard, and, while it's not as much fun as the film's first half and can even drag in places, it's a pretty daring move. I had to admire it.

Flawed as it is, Disconnected is an original and subversive twist on the slasher film, and the actors all have a refreshing non-Hollywood personality, delivery, and eccentricity. Raines gives both sisters completely different attitudes and physical presences, Walker makes Franklin such a fascinatingly kooky dude, and Capobianco really sells his grinder exasperation. We've all been there, even though I call them hoagies (and used to call them submarine sandwiches in my youth). I love the local Waterbury detail (the rental house, the video store, the bar/rock club, the neighborhoods, the city streets and buildings), and I like how Bechard gets so many memorable images on such a tiny budget. (I talked about the rest of Bechard's career and how he moved from low-budget horror movies to indie dramas to documentaries, including several docs about musicians, animal rescues, and pizza-making, in my post about Cemetery High a few years ago.) I really liked this movie, mostly. Okay, seeyabye.

The Doll Squad (Ted V. Mikels, 1973)

The Doll Squad, my third time to the Ted V. Mikels well after the disappointing Blood Orgy of the She-Devils (a title that promised way more than it could deliver) and the much more entertaining The Corpse Grinders (an accurate title), is my new favorite Mikels movie. If you share my '70s fetish, this movie is the equivalent of Quentin Tarantino walking into a room occupied by 150 barefoot women. You get '70s bars, restaurants, karate schools, offices, cars, boats, apartment buildings, secret island lairs, jumpsuits and other memorable outfits, hairdos, large clunky computers, modern art, martini pitchers, wigs, mustaches, interior design, carpeting, etc. You get to sigh eternally in the early '70s drive-in universe, a time before corporate slickification and predatory tech be-smoothed and de-textured and surveilled and packaged the world and put everything in quotes. The counterculture put up a valiant effort in the '80s and '90s against the forces of all-consuming texture removal and content delivery, but the 21st century has been a real vibe-killer with Big Tech and the digital revolution sucking out so much of the feeling. I wish I could live an eternal loop as a mid- to late-twentysomething in different major cities and college towns between the 1920s and September 10, 2001, a sort of benevolent aesthete hedonist temporal loop vampire, but that's sadly not the way anything works.

Why am I getting so heavy when talking about the freakin' Doll Squad? What's wrong with me? It's alright, it's just the permanent eternal struggle in my soul between my aesthetic love of the 20th century, my aesthetic dislike of most aspects of the 21st century (with loads of exceptions; I'm still as excited as I've ever been by music outside of the fetid swamp of contemporary manufactured pop and pop/country, and there are still many great new movies every year outside of the dead spaces of Hollywood, fake indie, and made-for-streaming), my constant working goal to live in the present, my disrespect of nostalgia, my hope for what technology can accomplish (especially medical advances), my burning hatred for the controllers of Big Tech and their bad faith uses of it, and my complicated reverence for the way things used to be before AI, smart phones, social media, influencers, reaction videos, ads blaring at me at gas pumps, etc., became the way of things. I got heavy again. Sorry, I'm just very heavy these days. I'm having a hard time existing in this world that shares none of my values and is actively hostile to them. But you're not here for a lecture about the Shitty Now (term coined by my friend Dan Schneider; not the Nickelodeon creep, a different Dan Schneider). You're here for The Doll Squad, man. Let's get into it.

I had a blast with this one. I feel sorry for anyone who can't get into an elite squad of ass-kicking babes (including Tura Satana) in eye-popping ensembles traveling to a heavily guarded island compound to save the world from Dear Dead Delilah's Michael Ansara. When Hollywood makes this kind of movie (or used to before everything had to be about superheroes and elves and shit), they present it with a certain ironic detachment. They wink at the audience. "We both know this is bullshit," the Hollywood machine says. They're afraid to commit to the sensibility or they don't understand it or they halfheartedly copy it or they think they understand the sensibility but slick it up with too much big-time showbiz. The drive-in/exploitation filmmaker already has the sensibility, was probably born with it, and presents the ridiculousness with a refreshingly direct and natural and personalized approach. Even the cheapest, most money-grubbing exploitation filmmaker can find authentic pockets of weirdness and delight in places Hollywood big shots don't even know where to look. To put it in wrestling terms, the Hollywood approach is Vince McMahon sports entertainment while the drive-in/exploitation approach is classic Southern territory rasslin'.

The Doll Squad begins with a United States senator named Stockwell (John Carter) watching live coverage of a rocket launch on his office television. This is the first launch in a new space exploration project spearheaded by the senator, though how this project differs from the usual NASA biz remains unexplained in the film. Stockwell is soon joined by CIA operative Victor Connelly (Anthony Eisley). The two men exchange small talk about the launch until something goes wrong. The TV screen strobes and a strange voice tells Stockwell that since he ignored an earlier demand, bad shit is about to go down. The rocket then explodes. Stockwell and Connelly urgently run to the "computer room" to analyze the data and the recording the quick-thinking Connelly grabbed of the strange voice. Why does a U.S. senator have an intelligence-agency-level high-tech (in '70s terms) computer room next to his office, and why does the window view of the presumably D.C.-located office look like Los Angeles? Embrace the mystery, mortals. Let the gods know the answers.

Connelly and Stockwell do some compute-box beep-boopin', and the computer spits out a suggestion. The fellas need to call the Doll Squad. Bang! Enter kick-ass opening credits sequence, and then back to the office, where Doll Squad leader Sabrina Kincaid and her amazing outfit and low-cut top can be debriefed on the rocket mishap, secret recording, and crazy TV shenanigan. The men tell her which two other Doll Squad members she needs to wrangle into the investigation. Seems like Sabrina should know who she needs from her own team. Nevertheless, Sabrina pays a visit to the women suggested by the dudes at their respective day jobs, a karate school and a medical research lab. Both secret Doll Squad members are security experts. Unfortunately, they should've been a little more proactive with their own security. Some classic '70s dirtbags kill both of them shortly after Sabrina visits them. When one of the dirtbags tries to kill her, she uses her flamethrower cigarette lighter to scorch half his face and escape. Every explosion in this movie is insanely cartoony and cheap, looking like a bedazzled word balloon, and I love each one with all my heart.

After hitting the gun range with the senator and the operative while wearing a form-fitting, midriff-baring ensemble, Sabrina shows the skeptical senator her suitcase full of Bond-style gadgets and tells them she needs to assemble the entire Doll Squad to take down the baddies. The senator, wowed by the gadgets, drops his skepticism and gives Sabrina two weeks, the same amount of time he's been given by the president to prevent the termination of his space project.

Sabrina collects her squad, including the legendary Tura Satana as Lavelle Sumara, and gets down to business. A Satana digression: I was lucky enough to see Satana and fellow Russ Meyer alumni Haji and Lori Williams in person at an Alamo Drafthouse-sponsored drive-in double feature at a speedway a few miles outside of Austin back in 2002. Organizationally, it was a bit of a shitshow, but Satana had no fear of getting out amongst the people and mingling with the crowd. When I was wandering the speedway before it got dark enough to screen the movies, I happened upon her holding court in front of a small crowd of fans and got to hear some stories about her brief romance with Elvis. "Holy shit, I'm five feet away from Tura Satana, and she's telling Elvis stories!" I remember thinking. Pretty cool, and despite the organizational chaos (including a ridiculously inadequate number of restroom facilities), I'm grateful for the experience, especially now that Satana and Haji are no longer with us.

Speaking of Elvis, former government agent and lover of Sabrina turned evil madman Eamon O'Reilly (Michael Ansara) is hatching evil plans from his swanky pad, which looks like it shared the same interior decorator as Graceland. He has an evil henchmen, Joseph (William Bagdad), and a slightly less evil but still somewhat evil girlfriend, Maria (Hee-Haw's Lisa Todd), to do his bidding. After his plans to destroy the Doll Squad go awry, Eamon heads to his secret island lair guarded by his own private army, where he mingles with an international cadre of baddies who have nefarious world-conquering plans. The Doll Squad, hip to the lair, put on their bikinis and charter a private boat to the island under the guise of going on a rock-collecting trip.

Off the boat and on the island, the squad members change into more cool outfits, split into two groups, and sneak close to the compound, with two of the members disposing of two of the private army through the ol' vodka dosed with liquid that makes you explode gag. Love that gag. Reunited once more, the Dolls change outfits yet again, this time into matching green jumpsuits for the full-on assault on the compound. Love the jumpsuits, love the compound assault.

While I wish we had a little more time on the city streets before the action shifted to the island, I was never bored. Some critics of the film think it's overlong and a bit draggy in this section, but I disagree. The performances remain enjoyable (though I wish Satana had more to do), the action remains intense, the explosions remain hilarious, the outfits remain incredible, and the splatter is H.G. Lewis-worthy. Corpse Grinders, you've been knocked down to number 2 on my Ted V. Mikels power rankings.

Speaking of Mikels, he lived a wild and free life until his death from colon cancer in 2016 at the age of 87. A semi-prolific director of independent exploitation films who sported a memorable waxed handlebar mustache and never left the house without his boar's-tooth necklace, Mikels was born in St. Paul, Minnesota to Eastern European immigrant parents. The family moved to Portland, Oregon when Mikels was nine, and he developed in interest in photography, theater, and film, as well as archery, horses, and stunt work. In his twenties, Mikels started a production company in Bend, Oregon, that produced educational films and short films from aspiring filmmakers. He also did some work as a stuntman and research consultant for Hollywood westerns shooting in Oregon, though he never achieved his dream of directing a Hollywood studio film.

Moving to Los Angeles in the '60s, Mikels directed a string of drive-in/grindhouse features until the early '80s, living in a home decorated like a castle (the interiors of which were frequently used as locations in his films, including The Doll Squad), in which he lived with as many as a dozen women at a time. Mikels became almost as well known for throwing raging parties as for directing exploitation movies. Moving to Las Vegas in the '80s and staying for the rest of his life, Mikels set up another castle-esque party mansion and directed another string of exploitation movies after a mid-'80s lull. Besides the movies I already mentioned in this post, Mikels' filmography includes Dr. Sex, Girl in Gold Boots, The Astro-Zombies, Ten Violent Women, Mission: Killfast, Paranormal Extremes: Text Messages from the Dead, and his only G-rated film, Heart of a Boy, the inspirational tale of an inspirational five-year-old who needs a heart transplant, causing the community to rally behind him inspirationally. I'm guessing that one won't make my Ted V. Mikels power rankings.